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The Transformers: The Movie (PG)
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This came out in 1986. The movie is set between seasons 2 and 3 of The Transformers. I saw it on VHS when I was a kid in the 80s, and I'm writing this review after watching it on DVD in 2022. The movie didn't do very well when first released, but it has since become a cult classic.

It's set 20 years after the events of season 2, in 2005. I have no idea what went on during that interval, but it doesn't seem to matter. (Heck, I don't remember any specific details of what went on in any part of the TV series.) But the Decepticons are in control of Cybertron, while the Autobots have bases on Cybertron's two moons, as well as a city on Earth. And of course the Autobots want to retake Cybertron. Meanwhile, there's a planet-sized Transformer named Unicron (voiced by Orson Welles!), who ends up eating at least one of the moons (I'm not sure about the second one), and sets its sights on Cybertron itself. But first, there are battles between the Autobots and Decepticons. The cast list includes a lot of Transformers who are of little importance to the movie, and whose names I never heard spoken. Some important Autobots include leader Optimus Prime (Peter Cullen), Hot Rod (Judd Nelson), Ultra Magnus (Robert Stack), Kup, Arcee, Blurr, Jazz (Scatman Crothers), Springer, Bumblebee, the Dinobots (led by Grimlock), and probably some others. Decepticons include leader Megatron (Frank Welker), Soundwave (Welker), Starscream, the Constructicons, and probably some I've forgotten. Also on the side of the Autobots are humans Spike Witwicky (Corey Burton) and his son, Daniel. I don't want to detail all the battles, but I will say that the movie is notorious for including the deaths of some characters. Oh, and I'll say that at one point, the Autobots end up on a junk planet, where some of them are attacked by Transformers called Junkions (whose leader is voiced by Eric Idle). And after a battle with Optimus Prime, Megatron is left barely functioning. Starscream throws him off their spaceship and tries to assume command of the Decepticons. But Megatron is found by Unicron, who converts him into Galvatron (Leonard Nimoy). Unicron wants Galvatron to destroy the Autobots' "matrix of leadership", the only thing that could destroy Unicron.

Since I want to avoid spoilers, that's all I can say about the plot, except that of course the Autobots ultimately defeat both the Decepticons and Unicron. But I do need to mention that the movie is peppered with a bunch of hard rock songs, which mostly sounded rather generic and unmemorable, to me. But "The Touch" by Stan Bush is somewhat memorable. And probably the most memorable song is the previously released "Dare to Be Stupid" by Weird Al Yankovic. (I thought it was incredibly funny to hear that song in the movie. It just felt so misplaced in a movie that was otherwise pretty serious.) Also there's a remake of the TV theme song, by Lion. The music all plays a pretty important role in marking this as a distinctly 1980s movie. And I don't know what else to tell you.


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