Ted (R)
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Caution: potential spoilers.

This came out in 2012, but I didn't see it until 2025. It was directed and co-written by Seth MacFarlane, who also stars as the voice of the CGI title character. (He also did motion capture for the character.) The movie is narrated at the beginning and end by Patrick Stewart. And the movie has a 69% fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes. Nice.

In 1985, an 8-year-old boy named John Bennett has no friends, but gets a teddy bear for Christmas. He names the bear Teddy, and makes a wish that Ted would be able to talk to him for real. The wish comes true, which freaks out John's parents at first, but they quickly get over it. Word of the living teddy bear spreads, and Ted becomes a celebrity (for awhile).

In 2012, John (now played by Mark Wahlberg) is 35, and still best friends with Ted, who has become a bad influence on him. John has been dating a woman named Lori Collins (Mila Kunis) for four years now, and John begins to wonder if she expects him to propose. Lori encourages John to make Ted move out of their apartment, so that John can grow up and move on with his life. So, Ted gets a job at a grocery store (despite trying to fail the interview), and gets his own apartment. He also starts dating a coworker named Tami-Lynn. Meanwhile, Lori's smarmy boss, Rex (Joel McHale), wants Lori to go out with him. John continues to spend a lot of time with Ted, and eventually skips out on a party he and Lori were attending at Rex's house, when Ted tells him the star of their favorite movie, "Flash Gordon", is at a party Ted was throwing at his apartment. After that, Lori breaks up with John, who then tries to cut Ted out of his life entirely. But then, Ted gets kidnapped by an obsessed fan named Donny (Giovanni Ribisi) and his son, Robert. While playing hide-and-seek, Ted manages to make a call to John. John and Lori chase the kidnappers down to get Ted back, and... something tragic happens that I won't spoil. But I will say the fact that the tragedy is ultimately undone was kind of spoiled for me because I knew there was a sequel. Anyway, John and Lori get back together, and accept Ted back into their lives.

I also wanted to mention that John has a couple of coworkers played by Patrick Warburton and Laura Vandervoort, though they don't play a major part the movie. There are also some fun celebrity cameos. Anyway... as is common with MacFarlane's work, there are plenty of things about the movie that I didn't like, and lots of things I did like. There are bits I found too crude or offensive, but I don't think any of it was meant in a truly mean-spirited way. And some of the crude bits I did find at least mildly humorous, while there's plenty of non-crude stuff I found much funnier. (My favorite joke was probably a self-referential Family Guy allusion.) On the whole, I couldn't manage to like the movie a great deal, but I definitely did like it.

Followed by "Ted 2" and a prequel web series called "Ted". I'll probably see the second movie someday, but I have no idea whether or not I'll ever see the series.