tek's rating: meh and a quarter

Vampires Suck (PG-13/unrated)
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This came out in 2010, but I didn't see it until 2021. The DVD I got had both the theatrical and unrated versions; I watched the former. There's not much I can say about it except it's a parody of Twilight and a bit of its first sequel, with a few other vampire pop culture references thrown in. Bella's name is changed to Becca, but Edward and Jacob keep their Twilight names... though Edward's last name is changed from Cullen to Sullen and Jacob's from Black to White. Becca's father is played by Diedrich Bader. There's also an evil vampire played by Ken Jeong, and the high school principal (a very small role) is played by Dave Foley. Wikipedia tells me that Edward was played by Matt Lanter, whom I know from Timeless, but I didn't recognize him here at all.

I don't want to rehash the plot, so I'll just say I found a few of the jokes mildly amusing, but most of them were just... bad. Still, I'm kind of glad to have seen the movie if only so I never have to worry whether I'd like it or not.


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