Stardust (PG-13)
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streaming sites: Amazon; Google Play; iTunes; Max; Vudu; YouTube
Hurm. Let me see. It's set in England, "150 years ago." Or it is at the start, though the film is mostly set 20 years later. There's this young man named Dunstan Thorne, who lives in the village of Wall. His village is so named because there's a wall there which contains a portal to another world. In spite of a gap in the wall (which could probably be leapt over fairly easily at any point) being constantly guarded, Dunstan manages to get across the gap, and he meets a princess, who is enslaved to a witch. He has a tryst with her, and nine months later, a baby is left by the wall for him. His son Tristan grows up unaware of any of this, and falls for a girl named Victoria (Sienna Miller), who is soon to become engaged to a man named Humphrey (Henry Cavill). But she agrees to marry the poor Tristan instead, if he carries through on a promise to bring her a falling star they saw, which fell beyond the wall, in the kingdom of Stormhold.
Tristan manages to get into Stormhold, where he meets Yvaine (Claire Danes). She turns out to be the fallen star. He wants to bring her back to Victoria, but meanwhile, there are three witches who want to obtain the star, to eat her, thus giving them youth. They'd done so long ago with another fallen star, which has nearly been used up, by now. One of the witches, Lamia (Michelle Pfeiffer), sets out to find the star. Also, the king of Stormhold is dying, and already his sons have killed off numerous of their brothers. Soon there are only two left, and they both try to find a gem, which is now in the possession of Yvaine. Whoever gets it will become the next king. So, of course, Tristan will have to defend Yvaine against both witches and princes. And then after awhile, Tristan and Yvaine end up in the company of sky pirates, led by Captain Shakespeare (Robert De Niro), who isn't exactly what he wants people to think he is. But then they set down on land again, and their problems resume. And of course, the possibility arises that Victoria isn't Tristan's true love, after all....
I don't know what to say. I don't want to give away how it ends or much about... anything. But it's all fairly amusing and fun. Fairly predictable fluff, for the most part, but definitely enjoyable. And I suppose there were a few twists. Naturally, the ending is happy....