The Postman Always Rings Twice (not rated)
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This came out in 1946, twenty-nine years before I was born. I first saw it in 2017. And... I really wanted to like it a lot more than I did. I mean, I thought it was okay, but kind of redonkulous. There were some things in it that I found pretty funny that I'm pretty sure weren't meant to be. And there were some things that, while ridiculous, I couldn't even find funny, let alone suspend disbelief. Still, I guess it's a classic of the genre, and I'm glad to have seen it. I'm not saying I didn't like it, and I'm sure it's better than I give it credit for. Whatever.

So, it begins with this drifter named Frank Chambers being dropped off by someone who'd given him a ride when he was hitchhiking. (We immediately learn that the person who gave him the ride was the D.A., who will become important later, but the fact that he was the one who gave Frank the ride is of no importance whatsoever.) Where he's dropped off is at a hamburger joint called Twin Oaks. There's a sign that says "Man Wanted," and before Frank can even apply for the job, the owner, Nick Smith, offers him the job. (Like, how Nick knew he wasn't just a customer is beyond me.) Anyway, Frank takes the job, perhaps in part because he had the hots for Nick's beautiful (and much younger) wife, Cora (Lana Turner). And it's not long at all before Frank kisses Cora, without any indication I could see that was remotely like an invitation to do so. To me, it looked... very sketchy, to say the least. But this being a movie instead of real life, we kind of have to just accept whatever happens, I guess. And it's hard to say what Cora thought about that kiss, at first. But as the movie progresses... we're basically just informed that the two of them fall in love, without being shown anything that looked to me remotely like a believable reason for either of them to feel that way.

Eventually, Cora decides that she and Frank should murder her husband, so they could be together and run the diner themselves. Frank isn't immediately down with that idea, but he requires shockingly little convincing. However, their first attempt doesn't quite go as planned. And they weren't going to try again, but when Nick decides to sell Twin Oaks and move with Cora to Canada to take care of his invalid sister. Cora wants no part of that, so of course she and Frank have to try again to bump Nick off. However, the D.A., Kyle Sackett, was already suspicious of them. (Incidentally, he's played by Leon Ames, who isn't familiar to me. But every time I saw him, I thought he looked like a young John Astin.) And... I don't know how much more I can say without really spoiling too much. But there's a defense attorney named Arthur Keats (Hume Cronyn, whom I previously only thought of as an elderly actor from things like "Cocoon"; of course he's younger in this). Keats... well, he's rather a better strategist than Cora or Frank. And that's all I'll say about that.

And, yeah, I guess that's all I want to say about the plot. More stuff happens, but I really don't want to spoil it. There's just... (OMG, you wouldn't put someone who was on trial for attempted murder alone in the same room as the person they were accused of attempting to murder, would you?) I dunno... so much in this movie makes no sense whatsoever. I should say that the title of the film is eventually explained, though it really seemed to me to be very weirdly tacked on. (I have to wonder if it made more sense in the novel upon which the movie was based.) Anyway... in spite of some things that I found preposterous, the movie did have some nice touches, I guess. And I'm sure some of the things I found amusing were meant to be. I do feel bad about being unable to take the movie more seriously dramatically, but I also don't want to leave you with the impression that there was nothing about it I took seriously. I'm sure there was some stuff. And... man, I really wish I knew what else to tell you.