tek's rating: ½

Eternals (PG-13)
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It took me awhile to get into this movie, and it never turns out to be one of the best movies in the MCU, but I did end up liking it. It's surely the most epic entry in the universe, on a cosmic scale, which makes it somewhat difficult to relate to. I mean, the mythology of this movie supersedes absolutely everything else (a distinction I'd say was previously held by the web series Loki). It made me question how much anything else in the universe actually matters. But since the other stuff is generally more entertaining and more relatable, I'm not too worried about it.

Anyway, it begins with some onscreen text that explains the background of the story. Basically, there are beings called Celestials that I guess created the universe. Then some monsters called Deviants appeared and started preying on sentient life throughout the universe. So the head Celestial, Arishem, created beings called Eternals, who never die (but can be killed), and each has their own unique power. Arishem sent them out to the various planets that were being attacked by Deviants, to kill them. A group of ten Eternals were sent to Earth about 5000 B.C. From that time on, they have helped humanity advance. While they were originally seen as gods, over time they've blended in to human society, pretending to be regular people. Their leader was Ajak (Salma Hayek). The others include Sersi, Ikaris, Kingo, Sprite, Phastos, Gilgamesh, Makkari, Druig, and Thena (Angelina Jolie).

In London, in the present, we meet Sersi, who is romantically involved with a man named Dane Whitman. When a Deviant attacks (which is a surprised, because the Eternals thought they'd killed the last of them centuries ago), Sersi and Sprite fight it off, but it escapes. Then Sersi and Sprite go to South Dakota to find Ajak and tell her that the Deviants have returned, but they find her dead, having been killed by the same Deviant that attacked them in London. Sersi becomes the new leader, and they set about reuniting the rest of the Eternals, some of whom are reluctant to rejoin them. I couldn't tell you where all of them live, but Druig is in the Amazon, and Kingo is now a Bollywood movie star. He has a valet named Karun, who begins filming a documentary about the Eternals and accompanies them in their quest to reunite the group. Phastos has a husband named Ben and a son named Jack. I think those are all the characters worth mentioning. But there turns out to be a far greater threat to the Earth than Deviants, and Sersi learns some very disturbing things from Arishem, which I don't want to spoil. So... if I'm not telling you about the threat, there's not much more I could say about the plot, I'm afraid. But there's a mid-credits scene in which Thena, Makkari, and Druig meet another Eternal named Eros. And there's a post-credits scene involving Dane.

I thought the characters were mostly pretty well-drawn, and their relationships were more relatable than the overall plot of the movie. I did enjoy seeing little bits of history involving the Eternals. The movie was not well received by most critics, but I think that's unfair. I won't say it could have been better, because I'm not sure how it could have been. I think the actors, writers, and director all did the best they could with the story that was being told. But I will say I understand if anyone thinks this is the least good (I refuse to say "worst") of the MCU films. I think they're all good, and I don't need for them all to be of equal quality. And I look forward to seeing more of the Eternals in the future.

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Phase Three: Captain America: Civil War * Doctor Strange * Guardians of the Galaxy vol. 2 * Spider-Man: Homecoming * Thor: Ragnarok *
Black Panther * Avengers: Infinity War * Ant-Man and the Wasp * Captain Marvel * Avengers: Endgame * Spider-Man: Far from Home
Phase Four: Black Widow * Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings * Eternals * Spider-Man: No Way Home *
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