A Christmas Story (PG)
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This came out in 1983. I think I first saw it in 1999, maybe. A friend sent it to me on VHS, something he had recorded, IIRC. But I have no idea whatever happened to that tape. I remember not particularly caring for it, at the time. But I thought I should watch it again sometime, to write a review. Every Christmas there's a marathon of the movie on both TBS and TNT, but I've never seen it on those channels. I finally watched in 2025, on HBO Max. And this time I think I liked it a bit more than I had before, but I'm still not wild about it. It's based on books by Jean Shepherd, who narrates the movie as an adult version of the main character, a nine-year-old boy named Ralphie Parker. The plot is basically an interconnected series of vignettes, about Ralphie growing up sometime around the late 1930s or early 1940s. The predominant theme of the movie is Christmas, but not every part of the story is related to the holiday.

Ralphie desperately wants to receive a Red Ryder air rifle for Christmas, and drops as many hints as he can. But his mom says "You'll shoot your eye out", and so he can't get it. In fact, a few people use that phrase, throughout the movie. But Ralph never gives up. His desire for the air rifle, and that phrase, are things I always remembered about the movie. Another thing I remembered was that his dad gets a gauche lamp shaped like a woman's leg in a fishnet stocking, which Ralphie's mother can't stand. I didn't remember how his dad got it, or why he liked it so much, but upon rewatching the movie, I learned that he won it in some kind of contest, and he seemed determined to take pride in his accomplishment. Another thing I remembered was that a friend of Ralphie's got his tongue stuck to a frozen flagpole. (I also vaguely recall seeing an Altoids tin that was inspired by that scene. I thought I might have it in my collection, but apparently not.) And I think I vaguely recalled that the family went to a Chinese restaurant for Christmas dinner, though I had forgotten why (which I won't spoil). I found part of that scene cringey, but mostly I guess it was okay (and relatively short).

I think those are all the things I had remembered about the movie, before I rewatched it. A lot of other stuff happens, which I mostly don't feel the need to talk about here. Though one thing is that Ralphie and his friends frequently get chased by a pair of bullies named Skut Farkus and Grover Dill. I might not mention this, except that Skut was played by Zack Ward, who I have seen a bit of in other things, when he was an adult. I also kind of knew Darren McGavin, who played Ralphie's father, from a couple of 1970s TV movies that I've seen on DVD (which led to a series that I haven't seen, but would probably like to). And looking at credits for Melinda Dillon (who played Ralphie's mom), I guess I've seen her in a few things, but I didn't remember her, or her name. Oh, I should also say that Ralphie had a younger brother named Randy. I also wanted to mention that Ralphie has occasional daydreams throughout the movie, which are fairly amusing. And I suppose I found some other things about the movie kind of amusing, too. And I wanted to say that Ralphie put me a little bit in mind of Martin from Moone Boy, because he seemed a little odd, to me. A little bit spacey.

And I guess that's all I want to say about the movie. I can kind of understand why a lot of people like (or love) it a lot more than I do. It does have a quirky sort of nostalgic charm about it. I feel like that should hit harder for people who grew up around the same time Ralphie did in the movie, but it can work as an aesthetic for just about anyone, really. It just didn't really grab me to the same degree as it seems to grab most people, and I'm not sure why. But I'm glad I've finally re-watched it, and hopefully I'll remember it a bit better from now on.