The Cat in the Hat (PG)
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Caution: Spoilers, I guess?

I originally put this review under "weird," but later moved it to "meh."

Dakota Fanning was good, as always. The fish and the things didn't entirely suck, and the scarab padlock was cool. I'd like to get me one of them. And I suppose the movie had a very few mildly amusing moments, but not nearly amusing enough to make me laugh. And not enough to make it worth watching the movie. It was worth watching just... to have watched. So I could stop wanting to see it. And because of Fanning. Otherwise... the movie kind of sucked. Mike Myers's performance was particularly disappointing, but I'll attribute that to the bad writing. I suppose I should also mention that I've never read Dr. Seuss's original story, though I definitely should. And I've never seen any previous adaptations, and don't know if I care to.

Oh... I suppose I should say what the movie's about. Okay, this woman, who has a germophobic boss, is supposed to host an office party at her house. She also has a son who's always breaking rules and making a mess. And a well-behaved daughter (Fanning) who is a control freak and doesn't know how to have fun. And a boyfriend who wants to send the kids to military school. And then a giant talking magical cat shows up and gets the kids into trouble and makes a big mess. But in the end the kids learn a lesson, the brother becoming more responsible and the sister becoming less uptight. And the mom dumps the boyfriend. All's well that ends well. And stuff.