Once I was the King of Spain (now I eat humble pie)
Oh, my unspeakable wife, Queen Lisa (now I eat humble pie)
I'm tellin' you I was the King of Spain (now I eat humble pie)
An' now I work at the Pizza Pizza

Royalty, Lord it looked good on me
Buried in silk in the royal boudoir, or going nuclear free
Or playing crokinole with the princess of Monaco
Telling my jokes to the OPEC leaders, getting it all on video

Once I was the King of Spain (now I eat humble pie)
A palatial palace, that was my home (now I eat humble pie)
I'm tellin' you I was the King of Spain (now I eat humble pie)
An' now I vacuum the turf at Skydome

I can't wait, I'm lowering interest rates, my people say:
"King, how are you such a genius?"
"There's a roof overhead, and food on our plates!"
It's lassez-faire, I don't even give a care
Let's make Friday part of the weekend
And give every new baby a chocolate eclair

Once I was the King of Spain (now I eat humble pie)
Hey Clinton! Hey Yeltsin! Got problems? You phone me
I'm tellin' you I was the King of Spain (now I eat humble pie)
Now the Leafs call me up to drive the Zamboni

Ladies and Gentlemen I introduce to you, the International Orchestra!

(vocal solo)

Now, some of you might be wondering how I came to be living in Canada, after being royalty in Spain. Should I tell them guys? (tell us please!)

You see late one night, when the palace was asleep
Out of my royal chambers and into the garden I creep
An' I wait, 'til the appointed time, when the moon is lighting the pitch
At which point my peasant friend, who looks just like me
Arrives and we make a switch

Prince and Pauper, Junior and Whopper
World made up of silver and copper
Under my own volition, I took a change of position
So next time, you drool in the pizza line
Remember, slower pizza's more luscious
The King of Spain never rushes!

Once I was the King of Spain (now I eat humble pie)
I was looking for offhanded ways to improve us
I'm tellin' you I was the King of Spain (now I eat humble pie)
An' now I'm jammin' with Moxy Früvous!