Happy Birthday, Baby Jesus (various artists)
AllMusic; Amazon; Discogs; Hip Christmas Music

This is a 1995 two-CD release of two vinyl albums from 1993 and 94. Plus there are six songs that weren't on the records. I listened to it in 2021. It's mostly punk of various sorts, though there are a few other genres represented. Even if they sound a bit punky.

Volume One

1. "Christmas Is a Comin' (May God Bless You)", by Shitbirds: This rocks well enough, I guess, but I couldn't understand most of the lyrics.

2. "Brand New Bike", by Junkyard Dogs: Sounds like country rock. It's not bad.

3. "The Night Before Christmas", by Claw Hammer: Sounds like hair metal to me, though the band's supposed to be punk. Guy's just singing the familiar poem, but not singing it well.

4. "I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday", by Devil Dogs: A punk cover of the Wizzard song that's nowhere near as good as the original.

5. "Cancel Christmas", by Rocket from the Crypt: The music sounds dissonant and the lyrics are more of a downer than "Father Christmas". I don't like it.

6. "Run, Run Rudolph", by Humpers: A punk cover of the familiar song. It's not really bad, but I don't care for it much.

7. "Santa Claus Never Forgets", by Jackknife: I couldn't make out any of the lyrics and I didn't care much about the sound of it.

8. "Christmas (Baby, Please Come Home)", by New Bomb Turks: A punk cover of the familiar song, which really should not be done as punk rock.

9. "Little Drummer Bitch", by Red Aunts: First of all I don't like the title. As for the sound of the song, I didn't like it at first, but then it really started to rock. I can't make out most of the lyrics, but that's probably a good thing. It's still not great (a bit too screechy for my taste, not that screeching can't be a good thing), but it's not as bad as I'd feared it would be.

10. "Mr. Blue X-mas", by Monsieur Jeffrey Evans with Ross Johnson & the AMF: This is kind of blues, but not good blues. And there's a lot of talking that would be depressing if it weren't so boring. Eventually it gets really nasty.

11. 'There's Nothing I Want More for Christmas This Year", by Chubbies: This wasn't on the original album. I can't make out most of the lyrics, but it's not bad.

12. "Merry Christmas, Fuck You", by Jet Boys: This wasn't on the original album. This is nasty, but it kind of rocks. I still don't like it.

13. "Christmas Will Be Magic Again", by International Language: This wasn't on the original album. I can't help wondering if this is a cover of "December Will Be Magic Again", which I heard recently on The Edge of Christmas, but I don't remember any of the lyrics from it, so I dunno. I'm guessing not. Anyway, the song is okay. Certainly easier to listen to than any other song on the disc.

The Second Coming

1. "O Holy Night parts 1 & 2", by Phenobarbidols: Part 1 sounds traditional, and part 2 is punk I guess. Both parts are decent.

2. "Frosty the Snowman", by Man or Astroman? ...This is instrumental. And part of the instrumentation sounds more like "Tequila" than "Frosty". But it's not bad.

3. "Feliz Navi-nada", by El Vez: Scratchy, distorted-sounding Mexican rock. I don't know what else to say.

4. "Christmastime Is for Sinners", by The Mono Men: This is kind of nasty I think.

5. "Christmas Rush", by Dead Moon: Decent lyrics (those I could make out), but I'm not sure what to say about the sound.

6. "Christmastime Is for Les Chickun", by Les Chickun: This is just kind of weird. There's some talking at the start, and the rest is instrumental.

7. "We'll Call It Christmastime", by Supersuckers: Sounds alright I guess, but I'm not sure about the lyrics.

8. "Little Drummer Boy", by The Bomboras: Surf rock. Instrumental. Not bad, though most of it doesn't sound at all like the song.

9. "Nothing for Me", by The Muffs: This is the only band on the double album that I'm sure I've heard of before. I couldn't make out most of the lyrics, but it sounds okay.

10. "Last on Santa's List", by Fireworks: Can't make out most of the lyrics, and I don't really care about the sound.

11. "Snackin' Santa", by Go Nuts: This is a ridiculous poem set to music. I don't know what to think about it.

12. "Christmastime Is Here Again", by Satan's Cheerleaders: This mostly just repeats the title over and over. I don't care about it.

13. "Christmas Time Is Comin'", by Quadrajets: This wasn't on the original album. I have no idea what to think of it.

14. "Bob Kringle", by Creamers: This wasn't on the original album. It sounds okay.

15. "Santa Claus", by Spectrum: This wasn't on the original album. I don't know what to think about it. Except it's kind of sad.

Yeah, so overall, I really don't know what to think about the album. I'm glad I finally listened to it, but I don't know if I'd ever listen to it again. I guess I'm just not enough of a punk fan. Or maybe there's a reason I've never heard of most of these bands. There's definitely punk out there that's better than any of this, even if I'm not very familiar with it.