the SCREWDRIVER WARRIOR

thousands of years ago, deep in the Tibetan Himalayas, a small sect sprang up. these were the Screwdriver Warriors. they were a highly trained religious/combative group whose weapons of choice were screwdrivers of all sizes, shapes, and varieties. (who cares whether the tools existed yet or not, just go with it, 'kay?) they remained a very small and secretive group. few outsiders knew of their existence, except as whispered rumors and legends. only the best people, strong of heart, head, hand, and spirit, could attempt to join them and acquire their intensive training and skills.

the children of Screwdriver Warriors were given the option of trying out for membership or not, as they pleased, but were subject to the same required standards as any who would join.

mornings for Screwdriver Warriors were spent praying, meditating, and chanting. the afternoons were spent in physical and mental training of themselves and new applicants (of which there were always very few). or if not training, they took care of little necessities like farming, cleaning, cooking, making all the tools and weapons and things necessary for day to day life. in the evenings, scouts were sent out (on a rotation schedule from night to night) to see if there was any need of their services in the world. the scouts would sometimes help out themselves when they could, in small troubles, and sometimes would have to return to the village to warn the entire sect of large troubles for which the entire order would be needed. this sort of thing hardly ever happened in history. and all outside contact was highly secretive. most people outside never even heard of the Screwdriver Warriors, and if they ever did, they didn't believe in them, for the most part.

life went on as it always had in the village of the order, in much the same way for generations, centuries, millennia. tho they kept to themselves, they kept up on world events. in the mid-1900s, someone suggested at a meeting that they apply for official 'martial-art' status, which produced the mild round of laughter it was intended to do.

but one day, in the late 1980s, one young warrior monk of great courage, honor, and skill, said, "Hey, I'd kinda like to see the world." this was argued against, but his mind was set, and in the end, anyone is perfectly free to come and go here as they like, tho they all pretty much like to go with the way things are.

And so, Brother D'Wardfael set off into the world. he wandered thru China, Japan, Mongolia, southeastern Asia, Northern Asia, Western Asia, Europe, Africa, Australia, South America, North America, Antarctica. eventually, he settled down in the USA, in a small town of less than 1000 people. throughout his travels, and after he settled down, he maintained his regular daily routine of prayer, meditation, chanting, and training. he didn't use his own name among these outsiders, but called himself merely the Screwdriver Warrior. whenever he came across someone in need of help, he would intervene. introducing himself as the Screwdriver Warrior was often enough to make would be opponents break into fits of laughter, so he rarely had to actually fight them. but whenever he did, they soon learned not to mess with a screwdriver warrior.

ps-they can use other things as weapons besides screwdrivers if they have to, and come to think of it they use screwdrivers for alotta stuff other than battle, like tools, for many purposes, sometimes even the one for which they are intended, right? yeah, okay...


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