Teen Beach Movie, on Disney Channel
Disney Channel Wiki; Disney Movies; Disney Wiki; IMDb; Rotten Tomatoes; TV Tango; TV Tropes; Wikia; Wikipedia
streaming sites: Amazon; Disney+; Google Play; iTunes

This first aired in 2013, but I didn't see it until 2022, during my summer of beach movies. I didn't really know anything specific about it, and I wasn't expecting much, but I ended up liking it. Man, this movie... just wow. What to say? It's so absurd that it's kind of awesome. But not too awesome.

So, there's this girl named Mack, who has been spending the early part of high school living with her grandfather, who owns a surf shop. Mack is a surfer with a boyfriend named Brady, who is of course also a surfer. She wants to tell him something, but keeps getting interrupted. And then her aunt Antoinette shows up to take her away. Mack is supposed to go to a school in the east, which is what she's been trying to tell Brady. He is of course greatly upset by this, and Mack isn't particularly happy about it either, but she feels obligated because of a promise to her late mother, I guess. Her flight is departing the next day, but before the flight she goes out to surf during a storm, and Brady follows her, trying to rescue her from the perilous waves. Then they both end up inside Brady's favorite movie from 1962, "Wet Side Story", which is a parody mash-up of 1960s beach movies and West Side Story.

This is the main part of the film. Brady is happy to be in the movie, but Mack just wants to get home, and she thinks the whole movie is silly. It's also kind of sexist, because the only ambition the girls in the movie have is to attract boys, and Mack tries to convince them that they can live their own lives. Meanwhile, the plot of the movie inadvertently gets derailed when the main surfer, Tanner, who is supposed to fall in love with a biker girl named Lela, instead falls for Mack; and Lela falls for Brady. So Mack and Brady have to try to get the two main characters of Wet Side Story together, which isn't easy. They also need to make sure a storm that's supposed to happen actually happens, because they figure that's their way to get home. And the storm is caused by the surfers and bikers, who are longtime enemies, working together to destroy a weather-controlling machine created by a mad scientist named Dr. Fusion, who works for a villain named Les Camembert. The villain wants to take over the place where all the surfers and bikers hang out, which until now they've always fought over. The whole plot is pretty ridiculous, which I'd say is fairly representative of actual teen beach movies from the 1960s. But if Mack and Brady can't get the plot back on track, they'll be stuck in the movie forever.

Whew. It's just... honestly, it's like this movie was written by a mad scientist, don't you think? Heavy on the "mad". But that's what makes it so much fun. Also the musical numbers aren't so bad. I don't really want to say how it ends, but I will say there's a post-credits scene that sort of sets up the sequel, Teen Beach 2. Anyway, I'm not sure how I felt about most of the characters, but I liked Mack. Just her reactions to the ridiculousness of it all, and her attempts to introduce a bit of feminism to the story. I'm also not sure how I feel about her ultimate decision, but I guess she did follow her heart, and that's what's important. Other than that, I don't know what to say. It was just all a weird, wild, entertaining ride.