tek's rating: ¾

The Birch: "The Protector" (4:43)
Bloody Cuts; Crypt TV Wiki; Facebook; IMDb; YouTube

This is apparently a co-production between Crypt TV and Bloody Cuts. I first saw it on Crypt TV, and thought it was okay, but didn't bother mentioning it here until I saw that there was a trailer for it on the Bloody Cuts channel, which I started watching after I'd gotten caught up with Crypt TV.

Anyway, a teenage boy is tormented by a bully. I guess he was raised by his grandmother, who on her deathbed gives him a journal that has a rather Blair Witch-looking symbol that she tells him to look for in the forest. And she tells him that... someone... will protect him. Soon after he finds the mark, his tormentor shows up in the woods to, you know, bully him some more. And then... a creepy-looking birch tree monster shows up to protect him. Really, the most interesting thing about the film is the creature design, and we don't even see it until the end of the movie, very briefly. But whatever, it's cool.

tek's rating: ½

The Birch, on Facebook Watch
Bridger Nielson; Crypt TV Wiki; IMDb; TV Tropes; Wikia

Season 1
This 2019 web series is based on the 2016 short film. It consists of two alternating stories. In one, a teenage girl named Evie Grayson witnesses a murder accidentally committed by a trio of teenage drug dealers, led by Thurston Polk. When she learns about the Birch, Evie calls on her to eliminate the drug dealers one by one. Meanwhile, Thurston just wants to save up enough money to get out from under the thumb of his abusive uncle Seb, who runs the drug business as well as a hardware store. Thurston plans to run away to California with his little brother Gavin, but Seb has other ideas.

The other story is about another teenage girl, Lanie Bouchard, who gives birth to a daughter named Laura. Her parents intend to raise Laura as their own daughter, to prevent a scandal that could ruin Lanie's father's political career as mayor. They keep Lanie away from Laura, but Lanie is determined to bond with her baby. For much of the series, it seems as if Lanie's parents' controlling of Lanie seems over the top bad parenting, but we eventually learn they have some good reasons for the way they treat her.

I don't want to say any more about either story, for now, but they were both fairly compelling.

Season 2
I guess it's been a year since the end of the first season, when Evie became known as the King's Point Killer. She disappeared when the Birch basically added Evie to her collection of "children," people who had used the Birch for their own reasons, who are now, like, held captive in a hidden "garden" in the woods, or whatever. This season there's a teenage girl named Rory who experiences online bullying. When it's done by the guy she has a crush on, she finally can't take any more. So, being a fan of Evie's, she calls upon the Birch. Evie hears her, and escapes from the garden to try to stop Rory from making the same mistake she did. But she fails, and Rory gets the Birch to hurt or kill a lot of people. I should mention that when Evie escaped, she took with her the Birch's baby, who looks mostly human, but weird enough to freak people out. Evie uses the baby as a bargaining chip to keep the Birch from hurting her, by threatening to hurt the baby. And eventually she gets help from a social worker named Jihan, though Jihan's teenage brother Razi doesn't trust Evie. Anyway... I don't want to spoil how the season ends, but I'll say it's good news/bad news.